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goodGUIDE HELPER OR HANDLER THE QUEST FOR ANA When it comes to tweens and teens excelling in class there are three basic schools of thought help your children get an A no matter what it takes even if it means giving them the answer admit it weve all done that at least once provide guidance and an- swer questions but never actually do the work for them in a perfect world let them sink or swim often times the result of parental frustration to learn a hard lesson. None of these tech- niques is foolproof and many parents employ a little bit of each. Sumitra Reddy of Plano favors the first camp and says when it comes to doing too much to help your kids excel in school My personal opin- ion is there is NO such thing as too much. Pushing them is okay and the banning of smart phones and the PS4 make it easy to reprimand. Kivetts philosophy falls within the boundaries of the second camp yet she worries that she has probably been far more the secretary and task master than shed like to be. When her kids were younger she monitored grades on line checked homework and made sure her kids marked their agen- das. I pushed them where they wouldnt push themselves and then wed discuss af- terwards how good the effort was to be able to have learned enough and earned an A grade. Once her eldest was in high school the effort was up to him with participation on sports teams and part time jobs dependent on achieving good grades. His success has had to be his own explains Kivett It would have been easier to do it for him but he wouldnt have learned important life lessons that should now help him in college. Saumell agrees. I dont do any of my teens work but I do monitor grades and hold them accountable and responsible for their own work. He stays in communication with teachers to ensure that his kids are being responsible and will tutor the kids at home. He wont provide them with answers but will offer tools and resources to help them help themselves. In the third camp Blakeley says she has never done home- work or projects for any of her four kids who are now all in high school or older. Other than working with her teens as a team to reword writing assignments she says My mantra is I already went to __ grade. I do not need to do it again. Blakeley feels strongly that her kids need to do the hard work and they will not learn if she does it for them. She believes they need to learn to fail too and would rather have them fail while under her roof than later in college. Blakeley adds I do not want to promote lying or cheating. I consider turning in homework that someone else did to be both lying and cheating. - Lisa Kivett It would have been easier to do it for him but he wouldnt have learned the important lessons that should now help him in college.