Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 Page 9 Page 10 Page 11 Page 12 Page 13 Page 14 Page 15 Page 16 Page 17 Page 18 Page 19 Page 20 Page 21 Page 22 Page 23 Page 24 Page 25 Page 26 Page 27 Page 28 Page 29 Page 30 Page 31 Page 32 Page 33 Page 34 Page 35 Page 36 Page 37 Page 38 Page 39 Page 40 Page 41 Page 42 Page 43 Page 44 Page 45 Page 46 Page 47 Page 48 Page 49 Page 50 Page 51 Page 52 Page 53 Page 54 Page 55 Page 56 Page 57 Page 58 Page 59 Page 60 Page 61 Page 62 Page 63 Page 64 Page 65 Page 66 Page 67 Page 68 Page 69 Page 70 Page 71 Page 72 Page 73 Page 74 Page 75 Page 76 Page 77 Page 78 Page 79 Page 80 Page 81 Page 82 Page 83 Page 84GoodLifeFamilyMag.com MARCH | APRIL 2017 47 goodADVICE Q: I’m concerned that my wife may be an alcoholic and refuses to accept it or get help. We’ve been married 20 years, and I love her and am trying to keep our marriage and family together, but her actions are often out of control and embarrassing to our teenaged children. Is divorce my only answer? A:It is common to believe that the only way for a court to intervene in your spouse’s parenting is by filing for divorce. However, if you want to try to continue to make a life together, there are options outside of divorce for you to consider. After all, this is not only the mother of your children, but obviously a woman you still care deeply about. It does not appear that your wife is neglecting the needs of or inflicting any physical abuse on the children due to her drinking. However, you can ask an attorney to file a petition with the court to restrict her access to your children and set rules and restrictions on what decisions she can make for the kids. This is a request I ruled on frequently as a District Judge in Collin County, and it is a relatively simple process in which your attorney will file a petition called a Suit Affect- ing the Parent-Child Relationship (SAPCR) but not a divorce. The court can then intervene and determine what is in the best interests of the children. For your wife to be able to exercise her parental rights, a court can require routine testing, formal counseling, and even treatment for your wife’s addiction. For example, in a situation such as yours, the court might restrict her ability to attend school events or to drive the children any- where until her substance abuse issues are addressed. The court has wide latitude to make any order that is in the children’s best interest. While the court can order conditions that your wife must meet to retain her rights as a parent – the rights that those without substance abuse issues might take for granted – ultimately, she cannot be forced to comply. She can only be assured that failure to comply will severely impair her parental rights and her access to your kids. In the end, it will be up to her to take the next steps necessary to save your marriage and try to restore her relationship with your children. Substance abuse of any type will have a corrosive effect on any relationship, but it has a partic- ularly toxic effect on children. Your wife has resisted your attempts to help her by getting help for herself. Do not let her resistance preclude you from seeking support, not only for yourself, but also, and more importantly, for your children. Judge Chris Oldner, Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson, LLP Family Law Judge Chris Oldner is Of Counsel in the Family Law boutique Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson, LLP, assisting clients facing life-changing legal matters including divorce, child custody, parental rights, and property division. He served three terms as the presiding judge of the 416th District Court in Collin County. He is also the former presiding judge of Collin County Court at Law 5. www.ondafamilylaw.com "The court has wide latitude to make any order that is in the children’s best interest. Substance abuse of any type will have a corrosive effect on any relationship, but it has a particularly toxic effect on children." GOT A LEGAL QUESTION? Fill out our anonymous Q&A form at goodlifefamilymag.com/AskAndAnswered